The Secrets That We Keep
by Harlequin Harley Quinn
Summary: On one hand we have Remus: the quiet kind, a good boy. Mostly does what's right. Sure, he's gay. No one knows about it. But now he's in love. On the other hand, Sirius: the troublemaker. Gay, in love, much like Remus. The odds keep them apart, but can...
1. Chapter 1

Okay, here's the first chapter. I've been working on this for awhile, writing it in a notebook, and the chapters aren't very long. Sorry if this disappoints anyone. I've never been one for long chapters. I can just never seem to pull it off. They get dragged out and pitiful. So I hope you like this all right. Anyway, like the have disclaimer said, I own no one from the Harry Potter stories. I don't own Hogwarts, the Shrieking Shack, or anyother place, person, thing, idea from the books. They all belong to J.K. Rowling. Lucky woman. I'm NOT writing this to make any kind of profit, unless reviews and a boost to my self-confidence level count as profit. Now onto the first chapter!  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Remus' POV  
  
Like many people, I have my secrets. For one, I am a wizard. I live in a wizarding community in England. I go to a wizarding school and learn magic. Also, I am a werewolf. Not many people know about this. The only ones who know are my parents, Headmaster Dumbledore, my teachers, and the three best friends that anyone could ever ask for: James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, and Sirius Black. But none of them know about my deepest, darkest secret. None of them know that I am gay.  
  
I have taken great pains to keep my homosexuality hidden. This is something I can never tell anyone. What would they do? What would they say? Would my parents disown me? Would the entire school ostracize me? With those thoughts haunting my every waking moment, I'm not too keen to find out.  
  
For years I have lived with this and not worried. In fact, it wasn't until this year, the beginning of my sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardary, that I have even considered this a problem. This year, I fell in love.  
  
Why must my life be cursed so? Why did I have to fall for the most handsome, clever, wonderful, sixteen-year-old boy I had ever encountered? And why, oh why, did he have to be my best friend?  
  
I look at the sky and ask these questions of God every night. Obviously someone up there thinks it's humorous to toy with my life. I think that they have a rotten sense of humor and they are a complete nutter. Can't they find someone else to pick on? Well, considering that the strap to my brand-new booksack just ripped and all of it's contents spilled all over the hallway and I'm already late to class, I guess they don't have anyone else to pick on.  
  
I sigh as I bend down to pick up my supplies. Footsteps sound behind me and I just know that I am about to be handed a detention. I am a prefect! I can't get detention! I am going to be in so much trouble! Oh, I wish James and the others are here! They had offered to walk with me but I had told them to go on without me. Now I was all alone. Great.  
  
"Oh, hey, Moony," said the person behind me. They bent down to help me finish gathering my homework papers. I had long-since frozen in place. Oh, God. . . It was him! 


	2. Chapter 2

Okay, sorry for the wait you guys. I was waiting for more reviews. Which I didn't get. . . But that's not the point. The point is that I'm here now to bring you the next chapter in which I will continue to torture poor Remus. I only torment him because I love him so much. So, without anymore of my babbling, here are my comments to my reviewers!  
  
LilaStar: I'm glad you liked it. I happen to like writing cliffies, but that's just me being evil. I'll see what I can do about the chapters. They'll get a bit longer in the future, so don't worry. And there will be quite a few of them if I have any say about it (Which I do since I'm writing this story.) So as long as people keep reading, I'll keep writing.  
  
Polkat: Yeah, I love Remie and Siri-siri, too! (My lovely pet names for them) They're hard NOT to love. Thanks for liking my idea just coming out and admitting that he's gay to himself. There will be more of him admitting that he's gay in the future. Maybe this time outloud. Hope you enjoy this in the future.  
  
Give the World for Mr. Black: Here's your update! ^_^  
  
animechick: Brilliant? Thanks. I didn't think that it was brilliant. But hey, if you say so. Thank you for the positive support!  
  
Now on with the next chapter!  
  
Chapter 2 --------------  
  
Sirius' POV  
  
(\ 0 /) ( /_\ )  
  
I was walking, day-dreaming, through the hallways, barely paying attention to where I was going. I couldn't stop thinking about him.  
  
It was some time ago that I realized that I had no intrest in girls. The gentler sex did nothing for me. And right from the first moment I knew I went for men, I knew I liked James Potter. I had no problem admitting that. James was extremly attractive, talented and funny. Sure, he was a bit on the arrogant side. What teenage man wasn't? But it was just my luck that James was straight and fancied Lily Evans. Still, I could dream, couldn't I? Or, day-dream, as the case would be.  
  
At this time, I knew I should be in class. I had made a small detour to the bathroom and spent ten minutes bewitching all of the toilets to swallow whatever sat on them. Oh, James would be sorry he'd missed that. He had run off after Lily in hopes of finally getting her to go on a date with him. Why couldn't James just give up? Didn't he know by now that I was fond of him? I suppose not. And maybe if he did, he just wasn't used to the idea. I had time. He would come around.  
  
Who is that on the floor, picking up their parchment and other school crud? Remus? Mr.Prefect himself?! This is rich! I'm gonna scare him good!  
  
I finish walking down the stairs, mimicking the footsteps of the janitor, Filch. Look at Remus' shoulders tense! He's probably thinking he's got a detention coming to him. Time to put the poor chap you of his misery.  
  
"Oh, hey, Moony," I say nonchalantly. He freezes in place. I got him good that time.  
  
I bend down to help him pick up his things. The strap to his booksack broke. His mum just got him that for his birthday. Slowly, he turns his face towards me. His eyes, eyes that were much too old for a sixteen-year-old, were wide with fear.  
  
"Hey, Moony, take it easy," I say. What's wrong with him? I know I didn't scare him that bad.  
  
He snaps out of his chance and shakes his head, light brown hair shining in the sun that's spilling in through the windows.  
  
"Yeah," he says, "yeah, I'm good, Padfoot. You just startled me is all. Thought you were Flich."  
  
I clap him on the back and help him to his feet. He's looking rather on the pale side. Well, there is a full moon coming up. I didn't give him that much of a fright, did I? Nah.  
  
"Let's get to class, Padfoot," he says quietly. Before I can say anything in reply, he walks off hurriedly. Amused, I follow him to class.  
  
The door to the Charms classroom opens and tiny Professor Flitwick is staring up at us.  
  
"You are late for class, Mr. Black," Flitwick says. Remus is hunched over behind me, attemtping to tie the ends of the broken strap together. Flitwick hasn't seen him yet.  
  
"Yes sir, I am," I reply casually.  
  
"Well, come in." He moves aside for me. "I shall have to take five points from Gryffindor for your tardiness, Mr. Black."  
  
I walk casually into the room and it's then that Flitwick sees Remus.  
  
"Mr. Lupin," he scolds lightly. "You also? I expect more from a prefect! Another five points from Gryffindor."  
  
The Gryffindors in the room groan in unison. James and I are always getting points taken away from the house. Gryffindor was already at the tail-end of the point race. What was ten more points?  
  
Remus and I take our seats by James and Peter. I whisper my tale of the newly bewitched people-eating toilets to James. Yeah, he likes this. He suggests that we stick Severus Snape into one, head-first. I love this idea.  
  
I glance over at Remus then do a double take. His face is flushed and he looks palier than Professor Binns. Something isn't right here.  
  
"Moony?" My whispered voice is filled with anxiety.  
  
He is still looking at the front of the class like he didn't hear me. Cautiously, I reach out and shake his shoulder. His whole body jerks at my touch and his face whips towards me. I've caught him off guard.  
  
"Moony, you all right?"  
  
James turns his attention to Moony then. Peter, first glancing at James, turns his mousey eyes on Moony. Half the class has their attention on poor Remus now. He looks ready to faint.  
  
"Mr. Lupin," Professor Flitwick says, stopping his lesson completly and staring, concerned, at Moony. "Do you need to go to the Hospital Wing?" No answer from Moony. "Mr. Black, escort Mr. Lupin to the Hospital Wing. Go now."  
  
I nod and firmly grasp Moony's elbow. He trembles. I quickly drag him out of the classroom and down the hall. Something is wrong and I have no clue what it is. 


	3. Chapter 3

Okay, here we go again. This is chapter three. And as you may have guessed (or just read) this one is from Remus' POV. So, I'll go ahead and get to the comments to my reviewers!  
  
Give the World for Mr. Black: Thank you for reviewing. You are one of the few. Starting to make me wonder if this story is that bad. A never-ending cookie? Yay! Thank you! ~hugs the cookie protectively~  
  
bosquito mosquito: Yup, Lupin is a bit of a spaz. But you still have to love him. Thank you, too, for reviewing.  
  
And that's all. Yup, believe it or not. Well, we all can't be J.K. Rowling or Elvis, right? So, as you know, I don't own anyone or anything from the Harry Potter books. Now here's the third chapter!  
  
Chapter 3 ~*~*~*~*~  
  
Remus' POV ~~~~~~~~~  
  
I can't believe it's him. My heart turns several flips. I was just thinking about him. And there he is. Like and act of God.  
  
He bends down and helps me collect my stuff. I know my face is pale and my eyes wide. It's bad enough that I was already feeling off because of the upcoming full moon and my heart was pounding fiercely in my chest, but his closeness was effecting me strangely. My whole body is hot and now I'm shaking. What a fine time for my hormones to be on the rampage. . . Why is he staring at me like that?  
  
"Hey, Moony, take it easy," he says. I can hear the concern in his voice. I justs keep staring into those lovely eyes of his.  
  
I suddenly realize that I've stared too long. I snap out of it and shake my head. Stop blushing, I silently command myself. I can feel the heat creeping all over my face, my ears, my neck, and down my back. I feel like I'm giving myself away. Surely he can tell what I feel for him. Surely it's reflected in my eyes.  
  
"Yeah," I say, "yeah, I'm good, Padfoot. You just startled me is all. Thought you were Flich."  
  
He claps me on the back. The skin he touched, concealed under my robes and clothing, springs to life at his touch. I'm aware of his every movement. His warm hand slides into mine and he pulls me to my feet. My hand feels so empty as his slips away. I can't take much more of this.  
  
"Let's get to class, Padfoot," I say quietly. Quickly, I walk of. I hear his footsteps behind me.  
  
When we reach the Charms classroom door, I accidently drop my spare quill. Sirius moves in front of me just as the door opens. When did Sirius start wearing cologne? It smells so good. . .  
  
"You are late for class, Mr. Black," I hear Professor Flitwick said. I straighten up slightly and try to tie the strap ends back together. I still can't get his closeness out of my mind. Why must he be all I think about? Why not someone else? It would be easier if the object of my affections and desires wasn't one of my best friends.  
  
"Yes sir, I am," he says casually.  
  
"Well, come in," Flitwick sighs. He moves to admit us into the classroom. "I shall have to take five points from Gryffindor for your tardiness, Mr. Black."  
  
Sirius casually walks into the room. Oh, how he moves. It's gracefully and respectful all at once. And the way his backside moves. . .  
  
Professor Flitwick took the moment when my mouth was agape to notice me.  
  
"Mr. Lupin," he scolds lightly. "You also? I expect more from a prefect! Another five points from Gryffindor."  
  
My mouth snaps shut. Groans go up around the room from the Gryffindors. Great. I've now made the entire House mad at me. Great going, Remus. Silently, I sit down beside Sirius.  
  
Sirius starts whispering to James about his latest prank. So that is the reason he was late to class. Was I supposed to be listening? The only thing I could focus on was Sirius. The sight of him, the smell of him, his good looks, his hairstyle. The room was suddenly humid.  
  
Why am I hurting? This isn't right. I shouldn't be hurting like this. And hair shouldn't be sprouting on my knuckles. I look out the window. Bloody hell. . .  
  
The full moon is hanging high in the autumn sky. I feel all of the color drain from my face. I can't transform, not here in the middle of class! Everyone will be in danger! I have to get to the Hospital Wing!  
  
I can't move. My fangs start to grown in just now. Oh, God, someone help me! My gaze is fixed on the front of the class. I hope Professor Flitwick will catch a glimpse of me. He'll send me to Madame Pompfrey.  
  
Someone shakes me shoulder. I nearly jump out of my chair from fright. My face turns towards the person and my fearful eyes stare at Sirius. 'Help,' I plead silently.  
  
"Moony, you all right," he whispers.  
  
James and Peter turn to look at me then. Half of the class is staring at me. I just hope that hair isn't sprouting visablly anywhere. If the parents of the other kids at Hogwarts find out that there's a werewolf in the school, I will either be kicked out or the only student left. I am about ready to just jump out the window before I can finish transforming. Everyone will be safe if I'm outside. Of course, I'll have a broken leg or something, but at least I won't be able to bite the other students. . .  
  
"Mr. Lupin," I faintly hear Professor Flitwick say. He's stopped his lesson. I can feel everyone staring at me now. "Do you need to go to the Hospital Wing?" I can't answer. My fangs are finally formed. I nod slightly. He doesn't notice. "Mr. Black, escort Mr. Lupin to the Hospital Wing. Go now."  
  
Thank heavens Professor Flitwick knows my condition. I feel Sirius grab my elbow. My whole body trembles. Not now, you stupid hormones! Why must I be tormented so? I barely notice as he drags me down the hallways.  
  
The next thing I'm aware of is Sirius stopping outside the Hospital Wing and he gently pushes my back to the wall.  
  
"What's wrong, Moony," he asks me.  
  
I can't answer him. He's so close, I can smell that heavenly cologne of his. Why must HE torment me like this? To prevent any embarrassment on my part, I shift by backsack on my shoulder so that it's covering my. . . excitement.  
  
"Moony, what is your problem," he says a bit louder. In response, I hold up two furry, clawed wolf paws that are my hands. He slams the door to the Hospital Wing open.  
  
"MADAME POMPFREY," he bellows loudly. My wolf hearing kicks in at that moment. Boy, was that loud.  
  
The nurse hurries out, takes one look at me, and starts dragging me down the hallways at a run. Oh yeah, this transformation will be fun. I'll be a horny werewolf. Great. 


	4. Chapter 4

Okay, there was a bit of a wait on this chapter, but seeing as how I've been distracted with school and this cute guy who asked me out, it couldn't be avoided. It's like someone doesn't want me to have the time to write. That's a bit drastic. I just need to get time management down. Which I will practice. Hey, a bit of a question for anyone out there that is a true Harry Potter fan. Does anyone know how Sirius got the nickname Snuffles?! I can't help but think that I missed something that told that somewhere. Did it tell or not? Someone, please let me know ASAP! On with my response to my WONDERFUL reviewers!! ^_^  
  
The Demonic Duo: I really do love Lupin, but I am afraid I have to torture him a bit. Was this soon enough for you? Sure hope so! ^_^  
  
Thehobbitgirl: Glad you liked my strange idea that came to me in a dream. No lie, I did get that idea in a dream I had. I've got major issues. Thanks for the review and saying that this was a good story.  
  
Freakyfairy: I love him too! We should start an I Love Remus Lupin The Misunderstood But Extremly Loveable WereWolf fanclub. Lol. ^_^  
  
Marauder Number 5: Yay! It's you again! Glad you like this. I had thought of just making it from Lupin's POV in the beginning, but then I thought "Well, that's not fair to Sirius (my other love)." So I decided on alternating POVs. I actually don't have MSN at the moment, chica. I had to uninstall it. But I'll try to get it again soon. Can't make any promises with psycho parents around.  
  
bosquito mosquito: Yes! It's the LAW! I hereby declare it an offical LAW of fanfiction.net that anyone who writes/reads Harry Potter FanFiction MUST love Remus Lupin! So says Harley Quinn, Princess of Sexy Guys like Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Draco Malfoy, Oliver Wood, Trowa Barton, Heero Yuy, and Quatre! (That's me, by the way. My self-proclaimed title. ^_^)  
  
Give the World for Mr. Black: I love your penname. I'm not sure if I've told you that before, but I truly do love your penname. How did you come up with it?! I wouldn't call my writing perfect. I'd call it average, if anything. I'm feeling good today, otherwise, I'd call it horrible. I'm an extremly modest person about everything I do, say, or how I look.  
  
Emiliana: Why, thank you! You are so nice! Sirius and Remus are my favorite marauders. I can sometimes tolerate Snape, if the fanfiction is just right. Oops, did I say that outloud? Oh well. Sorry if I made you wait too long. Hope you enjoy this.  
  
If you guys are wondering what has me in such a good mood, it's that there is an all-day Elvis movie marathon on the telly tomorrow. I love Elvis. I can admit it. He was a great man. A bit on the perverted side, but great nonetheless. So, anyway, I OWN NO ONE OR NOTHING FROM THE HARRY POTTER STORIES! I AM NOT WRITING THIS FANFICTION FOR ANY TYPE OF FINANCIAL GAIN! ONLY POSITIVE RESPONSE (or any kind of response) ABOUT MY WRITING! Now on with the 4th chapter! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Sirius' POV  
  
The Next Day. . .  
  
Disaster was adverted. Madame Pompfrey was able to get Moony to the Whomping Willow, through the tunnel, and into the Shrieking Shack just in time. And since Moony transformed during the school day while the rest of us were trapped in our classrooms, we didn't get to pull our usual monthly adventures. At least Moony was all right.  
  
Right now we're all sitting under the old beech tree by the lake. James is using his wand to draw colored pictures on the grass. So far, he's drawn a Snitch, a broom stick, and written "Prongs" several times over. I watch as he ruffles his hair again. I love when he does that. It makes him look like he just hopped off a broom stick.  
  
Wormtail is watching James in awe. Sometimes I wonder why James keeps him around. I guess he likes the attention or something. James is a bit arrogant.  
  
Moony's nose is buried in a book. He must be studying or a Potion's quiz we have coming up. Not missing a beat in his reading, he reaches up to brush a shining strand of hair out of his face. I never noticed how lovely his hair is before. Never noticed how it shines in the sun. . .  
  
I turn my attention back to James. He's staring at something intently. I follow his gaze. He's staring at Lily Evans agian. A scoff errupts from my mouth. Why can't he give up on her? I can't believe he can't tell that I'm interested in him. Time to take matters into my own hands.  
  
"Hey, Moony, got some parchment on you?" I ask quietly. He puts his book down and rummages through his booksack.  
  
"Need a quill, too," he asks.  
  
"Yeah, and some ink."  
  
He pulls out the items and hands them to me. Our hands brush and I see him tremble again. I give him a strange look that he doesn't catch. He quickly pulls the book up again to cover his face. The book is upside down. Quickly, he turns it rightside up. I can't help but chuckle. He's been acting strange since the beginning of this year and I find it amusing. Oh yeah, my letter!  
  
I load up the quill and spread the parchment out on a book. Now, how to start this. . . I thoughtfully scratch my chin with the feathered end of the quill, a habit picked up from Moony. Well, what would I say to him if I was going to tell him that I want him so bad that it hurts? It start writing and it comes out as this:  
  
James,  
  
I want you. That's the only easy way to say it. For awhile now, I've made many advances on you, but you either don't know or don't care. Which is it? Please end this torment that you're causing me soon.  
  
Your's,  
  
Sirius  
  
{That sucked, I know. But that was the best that I could come up with at the time.}  
  
There. Yeah, that sounds good. It's simple, to the point, blunt. That should do it.  
  
I wipe the parchment clean using a simple invisibility spell and stuff it into my pocket. After dinnr will be the perfect time to give it to him. Yes, that's when I'll do it. I lean back against the tree, my hands clasped behind my head, and close my eyes. This is the beginning of something great I do believe.  
  
Later That Day!. . .  
  
Dinner is over. I'm a bundle of nerves. I can't believe this came so soon. Maybe I should just give it to him tomorrow. There's always tomorrow. No, I'm going to give it to him now!  
  
"James," I call. He's across the Great Hall already, following Lily. I roll my eyes. I can offer so much better than that. She won't even give him the time of day unless it's to insult him.  
  
"Yeah, Padfoot?" He's now standing in front of me. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this!  
  
"Got something for you," I hear myself say. It seems like I'm on auto- pilot now. I'm not longer nervous. I'm cool and calm.  
  
I reach into my pocket and pull out the sealed letter. No going back now. I push it into his hand. There. I did it.  
  
"Got to go," I mutter. I rush off quickly. He's holding my future in his hands. I can't stand around and watch it.  
  
My feet seem to have a mind of their own. I'm laying in my bed before I know it. That wasn't as bad as I had pictured it being. I didn't even have to stick around to watch the expressions run over his face. I roll over. Again, before I know it, I'm asleep. 


	5. Chapter 5

Okay, to save everyone time and so I can have more time to work on the other chapters, I'm just going to stop responding to you all unless they are by emails. I'm sorry if this offends anyone, but I've got a lot going right now. I'll try to post seperate chapters with my responses, but I can't make any promises. School really sucks. . . Okay, without anymore of my whining, let's get on with chapter 5. SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT!!!!  
  
Chapter 5  
  
Remus' POV  
  
Well, yesterday had been interesting. It isn't something I'm going to think about for a while, or ever if I can help it. Right now, I'm just sitting outside under my favorite beech tree, reading a good Potions book. I can see James drawing in the grass near me. Wormtail is watching him in awe. Padfoot is watching James. . . Oh, Lord, please don't tell me he's fallen for Prongs. Please tell me it isn't true. . .  
  
Padfoot's attention is on me now. Is there something on my face? Well, besides that on annoying strand of hair that insists on falling in my face constantly. I don't take my eyes from the page as I reach up and brush the hair away. I can feel those dark eyes of his staring at me. My face starts to burn red. And then he looks back at James. A sigh escapes my lips. Well, I don't suppose I can blame Padfoot. Prongs does have a lot to offer. Why, he's smart, handsome, funny, charming and that's just to name a few. What could I ever have to offer Sirius? Besides my love, that is.  
  
Sirius scoffs lightly. Had someone said something? Was I supposed to be paying attention? I'm too absorbed in my thoughts to notice.  
  
"Hey, Moony, got some parchment on you," Sirius asks me quietly. I put my book down and rummage through my backsack. Maybe I should write him a letter to tell him how I feel? I wonder how that would go. . .  
  
"Need a quill, too," I ask.  
  
"Yeah, and some ink." What's he up to?  
  
I pull out what he requested and hold them out to him. As he reaches over and takes the items, his hand brushes mine lightly. My whole body trembles again. I quickly pull the book up over my face, hoping to hide my blush. Oops, it's upside down. I right it quickly and hope no one noticed. Sirius chuckles. The blush deepens. Will the torment ever end?  
  
After a few minutes and a couple of deep, calming breaths, I lower the book. Sirius is scribbling something on the parchment. Against my better judgement, I read secretly as he writes. It's a love letter to Prongs! Crude love letter, but one all the same. Tears threaten to well up in my eyes. He loves James? I have no chance now. . .  
  
I watch him wipe the ink invisible then stuff the now-blank parchment in his robes. He leans back against the tree, his fingers threaded behind his head to use as a cushion, and closes his eyes. He smiles in a self- satisfied manner. That arrogant berk! I'd probably be better off if I were to rip out my heart, hand it to him, then tell him to trample all over it. That wouldn't hurt half as much as this does!  
  
Maybe it's better this way. I doubt my parents would truely dissapprove of me liking Sirius. And it's not like I could marry him anyway, right? Right. I'm talking to myself. . .  
  
LATER THAT DAY. . .  
  
I've avoided Sirius as much as possible for the whole day. It wasn't really that hard. He was so busy watching James that no one even regestered to dear Padfoot. How couldn't I have noticed? Surely I would have noticed. Am I really that blind? Perhaps I am. Perhaps things are already planned out for us in life. Maybe Padfoot isn't for me at all. There could be better for me out there. Some tall, dark and handsome stranger is waiting for me? But I still want him. I still love him. Remus Lupin, you are a glutton for heartache.  
  
After dinner is over, I continue sitting in my seat, probing my uneaten pot roast with my fork. I haven't eaten anything since I read that letter. I doubt I could force anything down.  
  
James practically flies out of his seat and runs to Lily's side. He's setting himself up for another rejection. Poor chap. 'Don't feel sorry for him,' says a mean little voice inside of me. 'He stole Sirius away from you.' No, he didn't. It isn't his fault that Sirius likes him.  
  
"James," Sirius shouts. Sirius is shaking nervously. He must be going to give James that letter. Well, I couldn't expect him to wait around forever for me to get up the courage to tell him that I love him. James walks over and stands in front of Sirius.  
  
"Yeah, Padfoot?" He keeps glancing over his shoulder at Lily's retreating back.  
  
"Got something for you," Sirius says, his voice cool and calm. He reaches into his pocket, pulls out the letter, and looks down at it as if it were his death warrant. He quickly shoves it into James' hand and sighs. It looks as if a weight has been lifted from his shoulders.  
  
He mummbles something to James then walks hastily away. James looks at me, confusion plainly written on his face.  
  
"What was that all about, Moony?" Prongs asks, sitting down beside me.  
  
"Not a clue," I grummble.  
  
Prongs just looks at me then starts to read the letter. I can't take this anymore. I jump up and storm off. Prongs calls after me but I ignore him. He can't help. I'd just blow up at him and yell at him in front of the whole school. That wouldn't help anything. So I just storm off to the dorm.  
  
Sirius is already asleep when I walk up to my bed. I'm about to burst into tears. I can't take this at all. Where in the world can I go to get away from everyone? The prefect's bathroom!  
  
Quickly grabbing some pajamas, I run down the steps and all of the way to the statue of Boris the Bewildered. Panting, I mumble the password-- sparkling clean--and walk in. I bolt the door and throw down my things. Without any further thought, I pull off my robes, vest, tie, and shirt. My shoes are kicked off as I unbuckle my belt.  
  
"Oooh yeah, baby! Take it all off!"  
  
I freeze completly. Someone else is in here with me. . . 


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own anyone from the Harry Potter stories, and I also do not own anything from the stories. Sorry to dissapoint you. My apologies that this chapter has taken so long to get out. Laziness is a deplorable curse. Sorry a million times over. -_- On with the chapter.  
  
Chapter 6  
  
Sirius' POV  
  
I'm having the most wonderful dream. I must be in Heaven because this place is beautiful. Everything is so green. There is even a lovely waterfall. A glimmer of shining light brown near some dense trees catches my eye. It's gone, leaving behind a long shadow.  
  
"Padfoot," an angelic voice calls softly. Oh, that voice! It's so magnificent! The very sound if it makes me euphoric. "Padfoot, wake up!" Wake up? If this is a dream, then I hope I dream forever. James' face cones into view as the sun and my whole body seems to spring to life.  
  
My eyes open slowly and I see James' face hovering over me. Dreams do come true. . .  
  
"What's huh," I mutter sleepily.  
  
"Is this letter true," James asks. "Do you really feel that way about me?"  
  
Oh God. . . I silently sit up, looking down at the floor. Here it comes. The disgust, the rejection, the shame. He'll probably never talk to me again. I don't blame him. It isn't his fault that I am a fag or that I like him.  
  
"Yeah," I whispered into my hands.  
  
"Sirius, I --"  
  
"No, James, it's okay. Look, I was way out of line. I should have never gave you that letter."  
  
"But Sirius, I --"  
  
"If you don't want to talk to me anymore, that's fine."  
  
"Sirius --"  
  
"It's okay. Just forget I wrote that. I'll just go on about my life and be a gay twit. Don't take it the wrong way if I say that if you tell anyone that I'll have to hex you all the way to hell."  
  
"Sirius."  
  
"Prongs, you don't need to give me any kind of excuse. It's fine. I'm all right."  
  
"Sirius!"  
  
"It's a little blow to my ego, sure, but that's al right. I'll get over it. You know, it's not like I'm -- mwph!"  
  
James just sealed his lips over mine, cutting me off. My eyes go wide in surprise. So, does this mean that he likes me? I hope so, because he sure is a good kisser. He slowly pulls back and stares into my eyes.  
  
"Can I talk now," James asks. I nod slowly, silently, my mouth hanging open. A small chuckle comes from deep in James' throat.  
  
"Good," he says. " Sirius, I don't hate you. I could never hate you! And I don't want to stop talking to you. I just. . .can't believe that you feel like that. I never noticed it at all."  
  
"And if you had," I ask quietly. I keep my voice quiet for fear of ruining the moment, and waking Peter or Remus who must be sleeping soundly. I can hear Peter snoring from his bed. That is so annyoing. . .  
  
"And if I had, I would have done this."  
  
Before I can ask what "this" is, James holds my face gently between his hands and kisses me again. Unlike his hands, his kiss is anything but gentle. His lips crush upon mine demandingly. This is just like a dream come true. . .  
  
We are fighting for control, trying to pin one another down on my bed. I am taller, but James has grown slightly stronger from all of his extra Quidditch practice. It is only a matter of time before I am pinned under him, him straddling my hips. Grinning mischeviously, I arch my back, pushing my hips up against him. He breathes a shuddering moan. His hands grip my shoulders tighly.  
  
"Padfoot. . ."  
  
The lustful way he moans my name just spurrs me on. As I raise my hips again, I pull his lips down, hard, against mine. This is what I've wanted for years. It seems so natural. People say that this sort of thing between two males is wrong. . . How can it be wrong? It feels so good, so natural. So what if it was wrong? Damn those who disapproved. This couldn't possibly be wrong. 


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I still own no one from the Harry Potter books. I do own this plot, and I own the person in the bathroom with Remus. But that's about it.  
  
Chapter 7  
  
Remus' POV  
  
Someone else is in here with me. . . I quickly jerk my pants back up and look around wildly. Where are they? Then I see the person who must have spoken.  
  
She is sitting on the diving board at the end of the huge bathtub, smiling at me cheekily. Her clothes are scattered all over the bathroom, forming a trail from the door to the diving board. For modesty's sake, she is clutching one of the fluffy white towels to her chest.  
  
"Oh, spoil sport," she says. A pouting note has entered her voice.  
  
"Wh-who are you," I stutter nervously. She isn't a prefect, that's for sure. I would have seen her before. She looks vaguely familiar. I think she's a sixth year like me.  
  
"You don't know me. But I know you. You're Remus Lupin, aren't you? You hang around with that James Potter fellow. I'm Hope Moon. Sixth year Ravenclaw. I'm on the Qudditch team, a beater. So, what are you doing here, Mr. Lupin?"  
  
"Me? I'm a prefect. What are YOU doing here? YOU aren't a prefect."  
  
Her smile get wider and she seemed to relax. Her long legs draped over each side of the diving board. "Well, I was planning on taking a swim by myself, but now you're here so I'm not so alone anymore. I kind of. . .persuaded the password from Eli White, the prefect Chaser from Hufflepuff. You still haven't answered my question, you know. What are you doing here?"  
  
"I came here to take a bath." That should have been pretty obvious. Why was she just staring at me with those piercing blue eyes?  
  
"Really," she asked with faux awe. "To take a bath? No! Wow! Amazing!"  
  
"I'll just leave." I didn't need to be mocked at that point, not by that motormouth. I grabbed up my clothes and turned to the door.  
  
"Wait," Hope called softly. I turned to face her. "I didn't mean to offend you or anything."  
  
"You didn't," I said. "I'm just a little touchy today. Sorry if I gave you the wrong impression." Again, I reached for the door.  
  
"You know, we can share the tub," she said. "It's pretty big. Just leave your undergarments on and I'll do the same. How does that sound?"  
  
"Fair enough," I said. What am I doing? I could get into so much trouble for this! It didn't matter that I wasn't attracted to the gentlier sex, this was still forbidden. What would the headmaster say?!  
  
I dropped my clothes onto the floor in a heap. Hope discarded her towel, revealing her white lacey unmentionables. Several crude things that Sirius could say, where he here, came to my mind. What couldn't I stop thinking of him? 'I won't think about him,' I told myself. 'I won't!! I won't! I won't. . .will I?'  
  
"If you're shy," Hope said, shaking me from my thoughts, "I can just go ahead and jump in so you won't be embarrassed."  
  
"Please." I shyly reached for my belt buckle again.  
  
"Right." She gracefully walked back up the diving board, turned, and ran to the end. The board dipped as she jumped down on it then she was thrown up. With a big splash, she landed in the water. Her cannonball sent water and bubbles flowing all the way my bare feet. I quickly shucked off my pants and hopped in. Her head bobbed up close to me.  
  
"Hello," she chirped happily.  
  
"Uh, hi," I said.  
  
"What say we have a little race? Three laps from this end to that one and back. Winner gets a prize."  
  
"What kind of prize?"  
  
"Doesn't matter. Go!"  
  
She shoved off the side and tore across the pool-sized tub. I was soon in hot pursuit, catching up to her easily and passing her. That had been a cheap trick on her part.  
  
"No fair," shouted Hope. How could she say that? She was just mad because she was eating my dust.  
  
"I win," I panted, resting on the side.  
  
"Fine, you win." She put on a mock-sulk as she slowly swam to my side.  
  
All of the sudden, I didn' feel like talking to her anymore. I wanted to be alone again. She started talking again, but I wasn't listening. Sirius was on my mind. What was he doing right then? Was he thinking of me? Or was it James that he was thinking of? Probably the latter. At the rate I as going with trying to win Sirius' affections, I had a better chance of getting Severus Snape to fall in love with me. Oh, perish the thought.  
  
"What's bothering you," came the faint, questioning voice of Hope, intruding once more on my thoughts.  
  
"Nothing, just a personal problem. You probably don't want to hear about it. I don't want to bother you."  
  
"It's no bother," she said softly. She swam a little closer. "It will make you feel better to talk about it."  
  
For some reason, I trusted her. Why, I didn't know. Maybe it was her soft whispering voice. Or the honesty in her blue eyes. Or the sincerity written all over her china-doll face. Whatever the reason, I was soon bearing my soul to this girl who I barely knew. I told her about my feelings for Sirius; how it started out as just a crush but it turned into so much more, about him not even noticing, about him writing that letter to James, everything. She remained relatively quiet through my speech, with the exception of a few gasps or sounds of sympathy.  
  
When I finished, Hope layed a sympathetic hand on my shoulder.  
  
"Just tell him," she said. "It will take a load off of your shoulders. If he doesn't feel the same about you, then you will have to get over him. There are lots of guys out there in the world. Trust me, I know. I'm sure that if things don't work out for you and Sirius, there will be someone special waiting for you. Who knows what could happen in time? Maybe he'll open up and return your feelings. As for Mister James Potter, everyone knows that he has something for Lily Evans. He's been after her for years, he's quite determined. I seriously doubt that he'll forget all about her for anyone. Don't you worry your handsome head about it. Now, don't you feel better since you got that off your chest?"  
  
"Yeah," I admitted. And in truth, I did feel better. "Thank you for listening to that silly problem."  
  
"It wasn't silly, it was something worrying you. You can always talk to me, Remus. And believe it or not, I will keep this big mouth of mine shut. Cripes!"  
  
"What? What's wrong?"  
  
"The sun's already coming up! Plus, I'm all pruny. So are you. We are offically no and forever the prune pair. You're P1 and I'm P2. I'm getting out."  
  
True to her word, Hope hauled herself out and wrapped up in a huge towel. She turned her back on me for the sake of my modesty as I also got out. In the process, I splased all of Hope's clothes within a foot of me.  
  
"My skirt! My shirt! Ah, Remus!"  
  
"Sorry," I apologized, helping her pick up the soaked garments. "Here, just-just wear my shirt and pants. I've got some pajamas. They may be a little big, but they're dry."  
  
"Thanks." I carefully draped the shirt on her shoulders. It came almost down to her knees. I was suddenly unsure of myself and just handed her my pants. She quickly pulled them on, fastened the belt, and turned to face me. I couldn't help but chuckle. Hope, who was a bit smaller than me, looked slightly dwarfed by the clothes.  
  
"Don't laugh," she scolded. "It's not funny!" My laughted onl increased as she huffed and presented me with her back.  
  
"Sorry, Hope," I said through chuckles, "but you look like a fairy in a wizard's garb."  
  
"I shall take that as a compliment," she said loftily.  
  
"It was meant to be." At that, she turned and smiled at me.  
  
"We should do this again sometime. How does tomorrow night sound?"  
  
"Sounds good to me." It really did sound good. Hope was easy to talk to, was clever, and had a great personality, even if she did talk too much sometimes.  
  
After saying our final good-byes, we both turned down different corridors and headed back to our dorms. My heart became heavy in my chest. I couldn't handle being in the same room with Sirius just then. Instead of taking the stairway up to the Gryffindor dorms, I took the stairway down to the dunegons. I let my feet take me where they will.  
  
I didn't look up once. So, it was hardly a surprise when I ran into someone. The both of us crashed to the ground. A mass of white blonde hair was visible.  
  
"Narcissa Black?!" What were the chances of running into Sirius' cousin in a dark hallway?  
  
"Watch where you're going next time, Lupin," Narcissa groused angrily. She wouldn't even let me help her to her feet. She stood, pushed her blonde hair from her face, stuck her nose in the air, and stomped off.  
  
What in the world was she doing out of bed at this hour? I just shook my head. Even if I followed her, I wouldn't get any answers out of her. Narcissa was a snob; the whole school knew it. Still, there was something about her. . . 


	8. Chapter 8

NOTE: Due to recent events in the last chapter in which we were looking at the story from Sirius' POV, it seems that I have made a few reviewers mad. I apologize for this, honestly I do, but that is all part of the story line. Yes, this IS a Remus/Sirius story, and trust me, I will get there. Just be paitent if you really want to know what happens. If this kind of thing continues to upset you, you can do one of two things. You can flame me and expect me to change the story to your liking (which I will tell you now that I will not do), or after waiting fruitlessly for me to change the story to your liking you can just give up and write your own story. Again, I am sorry if I upset anyone with what happened with Sirius and James, and what I may cause to happen in future chapters, and if you just can never forgive me and won't ever read my stories again, I am sorry again. For future reference, I shall put the summary in this chapter.  
  
SUMMARY: On one hand, we have Remus: the quiet kind, a good boy. Mostly doing what is right. Sure, he's gay. No one knows about it. But now he's in love. On the other hand, Sirius: the troublemaker, gay, in love, much like Remus. The odds keep them apart, but can Fate bring them together?  
  
DISCLAIMER: I own no one from the Harry Potter books. They belong to J. K. Rowling. I am not writing this for any kind of financial gain.  
  
Chapter 8  
  
Sirius' POV  
  
James collapses ontop of me as he finds his release, my own soon following. A thick coat of sweat covers both of our tired bodies. Though we are both ready to pass out, we both are still moving seductively against one another, both trying to entice each other, trying to tease each other into wanting more, both succeeding. If we aren't about to expire from exhaustion, we probably would do it all over again a hundred times or more. There is just something about the feeling of James ontop of me, touching me, that brings out every animalistic instinct in me.  
  
"Wow," he says breathlessly..  
  
"Wow," I echo. My fingers, which seem to have developed a mind of their own, are running through that dark messy hair of his. My lips are gently kissing the sweat from his shoudlers.  
  
In the silence, only interrupted by Peter's snores, I hear the entrance to the common room slam close. James jumps off of me, grabs up as much of his discarded clothing as he can find, then hops into his bed and tugs the blankets up to his chin. I do likewise. Good thing that it's a pretty hot night. If anyone comes up here and finds either one of us like this then maybe they won't think anything strange has happened. If they should take a good look at my bedsheets, however, there might be some questions asked.  
  
I quickly roll onto my side away from the door and close my eyes. I already ache. I have the feeling that I'm not going to be able to walk too well tomorrow.  
  
The dorm door opens enough for someone to walk in then closes softly. I open one eye. Through the fading darkness, I see the person crawl into Remus' bed. I could've sworn that he was already in bed.  
  
"Remus," James whispers in a mock-sleepy voice. "That you?"  
  
"Yeah," came Remus' voice from the direction of his bed. "I was just in the Prefect's Bathroom. Go on back to sleep, Prongs."  
  
"All right, Moony." James didn't need anymore encouragement than that. Within a few minutes, I could hear his light breathing, letting me know that he was asleep for real this time. Poor guy is exhausted. Well, he did tire me out pretty good too.  
  
The hangings around Remus' bed are still opened. I can see him clearly now. The last few rays of moonlight are shining down on him, bathing his delicately handsome face in silver light. There is something serenly unreal about him. Maybe it's the mystical halo that the moonlight has thrown around his golden hair. The phrase "pretty in moonlight" comes to mind at the sight of the child-like look on my friend's face.  
  
What is this feeling stirring inside me everytime I look at Moony? It's like a warm, cherishing feeling. I've never felt something so overwhelming in my whole life.  
  
Stubbornly, I turn my gaze to James. He's fallen asleep with a smile on his face. If every night with him is going to be this pleasing, then I think this is the start of something wonderful. 


	9. Chapter 9

Well, here we are again, my friends. Its been a long time, huh? I have a confession to make. Don't think me a ditz, okay? I lost the notebook that this story is in. Okay, that sounds like a ditzy thing to do anyway...Alas, poor me. Enough of my whinning. I'll get to the point of this author's note. I was away so long because I was trying my hand at my own works. On fictionpress.net. Not much support there. So here I am, crawling back with my tail between my legs so to speak. Forgive me? I hope so.  
  
Disclaimer: I own no one from the Harry Potter books. They--and all of the places, and other such nouns--belong to the brillant mind of J.K.Rowling. Lucky woman.  
  
Summary: On one hand, we have Remus: the quiet kind, a good boy. Mostly doing what's right. Sure, he's gay. No one knows about it. But now he's in love. On the other hand, Sirius: the troublemaker, gay, in love, much like Remus. The odds keep them apart, but can Fate bring them together?  
  
Chapter 9  
  
Remus's POV  
  
THE NEXT MORNING...  
  
Even as I sit at the House table in the Great Hall, listening to everyone else around me chattering happily, I don't hear any of it. I'm not a part of it. The converstaions are like whispers on the wind, there but not really. The people are like strangers in a crowd. I am lost in a sea of heartache and no one can help me.  
  
I vaguely notice James, Sirius and Peter sit near me. I don't speak. What is there to say? My most trusted friend is sleeping with the love of my life. I walked in on the aftermath last night. They don't know I know. I won't let on. All I really want is for Sirius to be happy. If letting James have him is what it takes, then so be it. I will be forever doomed to walk alone, mourning a love that never was and probably never would have been. Werewolves are to be loners, anyway. What in the world made me think that I could ever have a chance at happiness?  
  
"So, what do you say, Moony?"  
  
I look up at James with haunted eyes. He wouldn't want to hear what I have to say. No, I don't want to go on some stupid monthly adventure. Not with him, and not with Sirius.  
  
"Moony? What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing, Prongs," I hear my voice say, as if from a place far from here. "I didn't sleep well last night. Worrying about that Potions quiz and all. I'm not up for an adventure tonight. Go on without me and tell me how it goes, all right?"  
  
"All right." James looks as if he is really worried. Of course he is. He is my friend, right? Yes. It isn't his fault that I was too chicken to tell Sirius I loved him. It isn't his fault that Sirius was so infatuated with him that he was blind to everyone else. Before I know it, its time for first class.  
  
Dreams of Sirius kept me drifting in and out of sleep last night. No matter what I try, I cannot get him off my mind. He's like a drug. I'm severly addicted. When it comes right down to it, though, I want to be addicted. I want to drown in those eyes. I want to be taken in by that smile. I want him. Moreover, I want him to want me.  
  
I walk slowly down the hallyway to the Charms classroom. We have double Charms with Ravenclaw today. I just want to sleep. How I wish it was Saturday. I really need a Hogsmade weekend to clear my head.  
  
Surprisingly, I am the first person in the classroom. Thankfully I have some time to sleep. I lay my head down on my desk and fall into a dreamless sleep.  
  
"Hey, Remus, wake up!"  
  
Someone is tapping me on my shoulder. That is always annoying. I groan and swat half-heartedly at the hand. The person is persistant and keeps up the tapping. My name is suddenly one of the most annoying sounds on the Earth.  
  
"No, you're doing it wrong! Do this!"  
  
A second voice joins the first. Now someone is blowing in my ear. That sure is one way to wake me up. Its also one way to...stimulate me and certain aspects of my body.  
  
I sit up quickly. Sirius backs up away from my ear. Why, oh why, did it have to be Sirius? I could handle it being anyone else, but not him, not now.  
  
"Remi!" a female voice squeals.  
  
Two strong female arms are thrown around my neck to hug me tight. My cheek is pressed to another, softer, one. The scent of strawberries floods my nostrils as my nose is buried in curly brown hair. I instantly know who it is: Hope.  
  
"Hullo, Hope," I manage to say through the strong grip she has on my neck.  
  
"I missed you! Did you miss me?"  
  
"Of course, Hope."  
  
A snort souns from somewhere beside me. Who...? Surely it couldn't have been Sirius making that jealous sound. It came from his direction, but... No, it couldn't have been him. Wishful thinking...  
  
"Class, please be seated and we will start right away!" Tiny Professor Flitwick is perched on his stack of books behind his desk. The class came to order quickly after his request. Hope scrouged Sirius out of the seat beside me. She sits her things out neatly on her deskspace. People are staring at me... I can feel their eyes on the back of my head. Why are they staring? Is it because of Hope? It must be because of her... She is a strange one.  
  
Later that day finds me sitting outside, working on Charms homework, Hope chattering happily beside me. I pause every now and then to answer her.  
  
"Your friends don't seem to like me very much," Hope says out of nowhere.  
  
"What gives you that idea, Hope? They're a friendly bunch. I'm sure they like you."  
  
"I doubt it. Look over there."  
  
I look over where Hope points. Sirius, James, and Peter are sitting under our regular tree, hunched over a scrap of parchment. Sirius is glaring, James looks as if he is plotting, and Pete is following Sirius's lead. What are they looking like that for?  
  
They see me looking and quickly shove the paper away. They're plotting something. What can it be? 


	10. Chapter 10

Another day, another chapter. This one is a little short, sorry. But I think I'm having a breakthrough. Yay for me. Anyway, I'm gonna cut the babble short this time. ^_~  
  
Disclaimer: I own no one and nothing from the Harry Potter books. They all belong to J. K. Rowling. This story is not for profit, only reviews and an ego boost. ^_^!  
  
Summary: On one hand, we have Remus: the quiet kind, a good boy. Mostly doing what's right. Sure, he's gay. No one knows about it. But now he's in love. On the other hand, Sirius: the troublemaker, gay, in love, much like Remus. The odds keep them apart, but can Fate bring them together?  
  
Chapter 10  
  
Sirius's POV  
  
I can't believe my eyes. Why is that girl hugging Moony? And she even has the nerve to steal my seat so that she can sit beside him. She acts as if she is his girlfriend. I know that isn't true, though.  
  
"Why is Hope Moon hanging out with Remus," James asks as we sit at lunch. "She's a Ravenclaw, not to mention that she's on the Ravenclaw Quidditch team. She's knows he's friends with me, and she hates me."  
  
"Perhaps she fancies him," Peter suggests. "She sure acts like it."  
  
"Then we just have to divert her intrest," I say. "Think we can come up with a spell to turn her off from Remus?"  
  
"Well, I'm sure we could. We've done similar before."  
  
"Then let's get working on it, Prongs."  
  
James looks at me strangely. I have no clue what is wrong with me. I hate the idea of that floozie hanging on Remus, spending all of her time stuck by his side.  
  
Sitting under our tree, I can't help but glare at her. How dare she... She looks back at me, and then draws Remus's attention to us as well.  
  
"Shove the parchment away, Prongs," I say. "They're looking over here."  
  
James does as I say. Remus knows we're up to something. I can tell by the look in his eyes. He goes back to his work after a stern look to us.  
  
Later that night as I'm in James's arms, all I can think of is Remus. Even as James's lips trail over my neck, those light brown eyes haunt me.  
  
"What's wrong, Sirius?"  
  
"It's nothing, James. Nothing at all."  
  
"Something is on your mind, Sirius. You know you can tell me if something is wrong."  
  
"Just thinking. I have a lot on my mind. Sorry."  
  
James looks at me doubtfully. How can I tell him that even after our stolen time in this classroom, Remus is the one troubling my mind? I can't even explain it to myself! Lately Remus is all I ever think about and it scares me to death. 


	11. Chapter 11

So here we are again. Ready for another chapter? FF.Net decided to take my disclaimer chapter off, which was actually a blessing. I had been meaning to do the exact same thing, but I was too lazy to get around to it. THANK YOU FANFICTION.NET! This creates for a little less confusion, I think. So, anyway, on with the story.  
  
Disclaimer: I own no one from the Harry Potter stories. Everything from that series that may be mentioned in this story belong to J. K. Rowling. This is not for financial gain.  
  
Summary: On one hand, we have Remus: the quiet kind, a good boy. Mostly doing what's right. Sure, he's gay. No one knows about it. But now he's in love. On the other hand, Sirius: the troublemaker, gay, in love, much like Remus. The odds keep them apart, but can Fate bring them together?  
  
Chapter 11  
  
Remus's POV  
  
I'm sitting alone in the Common's Room, trying to finish a Muggle Studies papr. It is due tomorrow. I glance at my watch. Make that today. It is four in the morning. I have to finish this paper!  
  
I came down here to concentrate. Peter's snores are too distracting. But I can't concentrate here either. Sirius and James aren't in their beds. I have no doubts about what they are off doing, and I am worried about them getting caught. Can I not concentrate anywhere?!  
  
Being with Hope helps me concentrate. She will talk away about anything and everything, leaving me with a way to foucs solely on my work. She doesn't mind if my only response is a few grunts of recognition. There is an unspoken understanding between the two of us. We don't have to tell each other what's on our minds; we already know. Its great to be around someone like that. Maybe I'll go find her... She's probably in the Prefect's Bathroom...  
  
I gather my things. Just as I reach it, the Portrait Hole swings open, revealing a most unexpected and unwelcome sight. Sirius and James are standing right there, snogging each other senseless. Keep yourself together, Remus! Something like this was bound to happen. All I can think of to do is clear my throat. The two practically fly away from one another.  
  
"Uh...hi, Remus," James stutters. "I... We can explain... There is a very good explination! Right, Sirius?"  
  
Sirius doesn't answer. He can only stare at the shocked expression on my face.  
  
"You don't need to explain," I say, my tone expressing anger and a hint of jealousy. "I get what's going on. Now, if you'll excuse me..."  
  
"Don't you take that tone with him, Remus," Sirius snaps. "I'm sure you're doing the same with that little tart you've been sneaking out to meet lately!"  
  
"Sirius, Hope and I are just friends, nothing more."  
  
"Oh yes, I forgot. Your secret. Let me tell you, Remus, its not as secret as you would like to think!"  
  
I can feel the color drain from my face. James looks between Sirius and I, confused. He doesn't know...  
  
"We've got a Quidditch game today, Remus. Who are you gonna cheer for? Your girlfriend or your House's team?"  
  
"Sirius, that's enough," James says. "What's wrong with you two? Stop fighting, please!"  
  
"Why don't you just blow my heart to pieces, Sirius," I say savagely. Its the wolf in me talking. Before questions can be asked, I run down the hallway.  
  
Hope is in the bathroom just as I thought. I am close to tears when I enter.  
  
"Remus! What's wrong?!"  
  
She hugs me tightly as I tell her of my encounter with Sirius. By the time I'm finished, tears are leaking from my eyes.  
  
"Ssh, its okay. I'm sure there's a reason for this, Remus. Its going to be clear soon."  
  
"I can think of a reason," I say, wiping my eyes. "Sirius is a jerk. He's trampled my heart and didn't bat an eye while doing it. I was about to tell him that I love him... How stupid am I?!"  
  
"You're not stupid, Remus," Hope soothes. No matter how soothing her voice is, she can never put back the pieces of my broken heart... 


	12. Chapter 12

Here we are again. I realize that some of you are feeling that Sirius is a whore. I don't mean for him to come off like that...Or maybe I do... Well, what I am trying to relay to you guys is that James attracts Sirius's hormones, while Remus's also attracts his hormones but his heart also. He's a teenager. Sorry if I offend anyone. Yes, this will be a Remus/Sirius fic. I am getting there. So anyway, here we go...  
  
Disclaimer: I own no one from the Harry Potter stories. Everything from that series that may be mentioned in this story belong to J. K. Rowling. This is not for financial gain.  
  
Summary: On one hand, we have Remus: the quiet kind, a good boy. Mostly doing what's right. Sure, he's gay. No one knows about it. But now he's in love. On the other hand, Sirius: the troublemaker, gay, in love, much like Remus. The odds keep them apart, but can Fate bring them together?  
  
Chapter 12  
  
Sirius's POV  
  
James and I sneak quietly back to the dorms. Even after what we just shared, we can't keep our hands off of one another. James stops me at the portrait hole and proceeds to snog me senseless.  
  
The sound of a throat being cleared breaks us apart. There's Remus, faces red with embarrassment, eyes looking above our heads.  
  
"Uh...hi, Remus," James stutters. "I...we can explain...There is a very good explination! Right, Sirius?"  
  
I can't answer. I can only stare at Remus. He's shocked, embarrassed, and...not, that can't be jealousy in his eyes. It must only be my wishful thinking...Wait, why am I wanting Remus to be jealous of me and James? Is it because jealousy would prove he likes me? I want him to like me...  
  
"You don't need to explain," Remus says, his voice angry and snappish. "I get what's going on. Now, if you'll excuse me..."  
  
He can't talk to me lover like that! Not when I don't do that to his woman.  
  
"Don't you take that tone with him, Remus," I snap. "I'm sure you're doing the same with that little tart you've been sneaking out to meet latley!"  
  
"Sirius, Hope and I are just friends, nothing more."  
  
"Oh yes, I forgot. Your secret. Let me tell you, Remus, its not as secret as you would like to think!"  
  
The color drains from his face. I hit a nerve. James has no clue what we are talking about. As Remus realises that, he calms slightly.  
  
"We've got a Quidditch game today, Remus," I say. "Who are you gonna cheer for? Your girlfirend or your House's team?"  
  
"Sirius, that's enough," James says. "What's wrong with you two? Stop fighting, please!"  
  
"Why don't you just blow my heart to pieces, Sirius," Remus says savagely. What is he talking about? Before I can say anything, he runs off.  
  
"What was that all about, Sirius," James asks of me.  
  
He is cross with me now. I hurt his friend. In all honesty, I am cross with myself. What was I thinking? Seeing Remus with Hope Moon just gets on my nerves. Am I jealous...? It seems as if I am.  
  
"Nothing, James."  
  
"Uh-HUH. Well, we need to get some sleep. I have a game to play today, and if I don't get at least a few hourse of sleep, I will fall asleep on my broom. I don't think the House would forgive you if we lost because of a sleepy Seeker. G'night, Siri."  
  
"G'night, James."  
  
James heads upstairs alone. I sit down in front of the fire. Something is wrong with me... Why can't I stop sticking my nose in Remus's life?! I am just making him more unhappy...  
  
I eventually fall asleep in the armchair. My dreams are blurry. Flashes of James, Remus, and Hope fly across my mind. Everything is so unclear. Then, as if someone hit the emergency breaks on a runaway train, everything comes to a hault...  
  
SIRIUS'S DREAM... ~::~  
  
"Sirius," and angelic voice calls softly. "Sirius...wake up..."  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"Wake up."  
  
I open my eyes. Where am I? I am in a strange room. The whole places is decked out in white. I am lying on the most comfortable bed I have ever been on. A wind blowing from somewhere caresses my nude chest. Where is my shirt, anyway? I am wearing only a pair of tight jeans and some socks.  
  
"Hullo, lover."  
  
The voice came from the foot of the bed. There, resting his head on his folded arms, is Remus. He is staring at me through half-lidded eyes. He looks so peaceful yet sensual at the same time.  
  
"Remus, what...?"  
  
"No, ssh, lover," he whispers in a husky voice. "It doesn't matter. All that matters is that I'm here...you're here...and we are alone..."  
  
He slowly begins to climb up my body, stopping now and then to nip at areas that catch his intrest. As he stares down at me, I pull him close so that he is laying on me.  
  
"Sirius?"  
  
"Yes, my sexy wolf?"  
  
"Take me."  
  
I roll over so that I am laying on him. Little does he know that I want to grant his wish and so much more...  
  
"Oh, Sirius," Remus sighs when its over. "That was...wonderful!"  
  
"I love you," I whisperd down into his ear. I am still laying on him. I never want to move. The feeling of his soft, willing body under me is intoxication.  
  
"I love you too, Sirius."  
  
~::~ REALITY!  
  
I awake in my bed, hot and panting. How did I get here? Geez, I'm all...sticky... The sun is just starting to rise. I lay back down in hopes of cathcing just a few more minutes of sleep. I try not to mind the mess... 


	13. Chapter 13

Okay, I realize that I have not updated in a few weeks. I'm so sorry. Gay high school and guy problems. Sometimes it really sucks to be female, and this is one of those times. I'm going to try to get more writing done in my free time. My English project is almost due, so that will probably give me more time for this story and a few others that I'm working on. So, thanks for being paitent with me, people. You guys are the greatest. ^_^  
  
Disclaimer: I own no one from the Harry Potter stories. Everything from that series that may be mentioned in this story belong to J. K. Rowling. This is not for financial gain.  
  
Summary: On one hand, we have Remus: the quiet kind, a good boy. Mostly doing what's right. Sure, he's gay. No one knows about it. But now he's in love. On the other hand, Sirius: the troublemaker, gay, in love, much like Remus. The odds keep them apart, but can Fate bring them together?  
  
Chapter 13  
  
Remus's POV  
  
~::~  
  
He looks so georgeous lying there like that. He is sound asleep, his black hair slightly in his face.  
  
"Sirius," I call. "Sirius...wake up..."  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"Wake up."  
  
His eyes flutter open. Confusion flashes in them. He doesn't know where he is. I don't know either. It doesn't matter, though. Something has come alive in me. Seeing him barechested has made me brave.  
  
"Hello, lover."  
  
His dark eyes fly down to me. Hot and cold shivers run through my body in turns. I love his eyes on me. I have REALLY gotten brave all of the sudden!  
  
"Remus, what...?"  
  
"No, ssh, lover," I whisper sensually. "It doesn't matter. All that matters is that I'm here... You're here... and we're alone..."  
  
I slowly crawl up his body. I stop to nip at his treasure trail, navel, abs, both nipples, collar bone, and then I finally pause at his lips. I stare down into his eyes. Carefully, he pulls me down on him. God, that feels so good.  
  
"Sirius?" I have to fight to keep the moan out of my voice.  
  
"Yes, my sexy wolf?"  
  
"Take me."  
  
He rolls us over so that I'm pinned under him. It feels wonderful. I can't believe that this is happening...  
  
"Oh, Sirius, that was.... wonderful!"  
  
"I love you, he whispers in my ear. He is still ontop of me and I would have it no other way. If he never moves, I will be perfectly happy.  
  
My heart speeds at his words. I have waited so long to hear that. My world seems complete.  
  
"I love you too, Sirius."  
  
~::~  
  
"Remus?"  
  
I open my eyes. Hope is looking down at me, pink staining her cheeks. What...? Oh... I have made a mess of my pants...  
  
"Oh... I, uh..."  
  
"Its all right, Remus. I know all about things like this."  
  
This is so embarrassing...  
  
"I've got a Quidditch game in a few hours, Remi. I think I'm going to go get a bit of sleep."  
  
"All right, Hope. Good luck with the game."  
  
"Thanks, Remus."  
  
With a final hug of comfort, Hope heads off. I sit around in the bathroom a few moments longer before heading back to Gryffindor's dorms to do the same.  
  
I barely got a wink of sleep in the small amount of time I had. James is up before everyone else, dressing straight into his Quidditch robes. He is going to get in a little pregame mental-prep. I am awakened by his, Sirius's, and Peter's talking. Sirius is laying on his bed, looking at James with unmasked desire and Peter is totally unaware. I sit up with my hair sticking up all over the place.  
  
"It lives," James cheers. I grunt in recognition.  
  
"It lives with bedhead," Sirius chirps. Another grunt. "Dogpile!"  
  
Before I can realize what is going on, the other three are piled ontop of me. We are all laughing, the conflict between James, Sirius, and I forgotten. It is acutally nice to be without these worries. Just like the old days before the hormones kicked in.  
  
"Well, I've got to go. Quidditch and all that."  
  
James disentangles himself from the group, straightens his robes, then heads down to the Common's Room. The rest of us soon follow.  
  
The whole House is gathered around Professor MacGonagall and everyone looks nervous. We make our way to James who looks as if he is going to pull his hair out by the roots.  
  
"What's the word, Prongs," asks Sirius.  
  
"Joshamee White is in the Hospital Wing with a broken arm..."  
  
"So? Madame Pompfrey can heal broken bones in a second."  
  
"That's just the thing," James says. "He broke it Muggle-brawling with a Slytherin. Professor MacGonagall was forced to suspend him from the game. Now we need a beater on short notice!"  
  
"Black," MacGonagall calls from across the room. "You will be replacing White in the game today. Do your House proud."  
  
"Yes, ma'am." The color seems to drain from Sirius's face. The whole House is depending on him now.  
  
"Don't worry," James says. "You have all the training to be a Beater. You fly wonderfully. I don't know why you haven't tried out for the team. You would be on it in a hearbeat."  
  
"I'm afraid of Bludgers..."  
  
"Afraid...of Bludgers?" James sounds as if he is going to laugh.  
  
"Its not funny, James! I was hit in the head at a young age and I've been afraid of them ever since."  
  
"Well, great. Just great. Now we'll have to get someone else..."  
  
"Sirius," I say. "Perhaps... perhaps if you imagined them as something else? Something you hate? Can you think of anything at all?"  
  
The reply practically leaps from his mouth. "Snape!"  
  
"Um, yes. Okay. Just imagine Snape whenever you see the Bludgers, okay?"  
  
"Good plan, Moony. Okay. I'll do it."  
  
The rest of the House--who had been listening--let out a loud cheer. There was a chance for us yet! 


	14. Chapter 14

Hi, everybody! Long time, huh? Well, no, I didn't die. I've been lazy. Lazy, lazy, lazy. -sigh- That's how it goes sometimes. Okay, gonna cut down on the babble this time. Here's Chapter 14! Please don't kill me...  
  
Disclaimer: I own no one and nothing from the Harry Potter books. They all belong to J. K. Rowling. This story is not for profit, only reviews and an ego boost.  
  
Summary: On one hand, we have Remus: the quiet kind, a good boy. Mostly doing what's right. Sure, he's gay. No one knows about it. But now he's in love. On the other hand, Sirius: the troublemaker, gay, in love, much like Remus. The odds keep them apart, but can Fate bring them together?  
  
Chapter 14  
  
Sirius's POV  
  
The sunlight moving in through the window is what awakened me. James is already away, dressing into his game robes. I lay and watch him. Poor guy is a bit nervous. Can't blame him, really. Glad I don't have to be him. "Ready to beat those Ravenclaws into the ground, Prongs?"

He looks up at me with an insane grin on his face. The adrenaline must be kicking in from him now. He loves this sort of thing. He wouldn't rather do anything else. We both know it. "Of course! Won't let the House down!"

I can't help but smile. James is so... There are no words... He leans down to kiss me. "Time to get up already?"

Well, Peter's up. So much for a pregame romp with James. The three of us have a bit of a chat. It's half an hour before game time.

Remus is still asleep. I glance over at him every now and then just to watch the gentle rise and fall of his chest.

The conversation gets a bit louder. James sits on my bed and moves so that his foot is rubbing on the outer part of my thigh. Desire courses through me. Peter just keeps on babbling about whatever it is that he has to say. Even though I am feeling James touching me, I am thinking about Remus in that dream I had. Okay, time to cool down... Unsexy thoughts... Um... Dumbledore in a Speedo... Yuck! More unsexy thoughts... McGonagall covered in whipped cream... Yeah, that's working wonderfully to cool my raging libido!

Remus sits up. His hair is severly tossled. It looks as if he has just had a good tumble or two. Yes, the look is very becoming of him. "It lives!" James cheers. Remus just grunts. "It lives with bedhead," I add cheerfully. Another grunt. Not awake, is he? I can cure that quick, fast, and in a hurry. "Dogpile!"

We all three pounce on Remus. He was caught off-guard. Now he's awake. Laughter fills the dorm. Last night's scrap is forgotten. This reminds me of our inncoent years. God, we were so laid-back then. Now we have to worry about so much. It's good to have little moments like this where we can just forget about everything and relax. The laughter dies down. We all just lay there on Remus's bed. "Well, I've got to go. Quidditch and all that."

James disentangles himself from us, straightens his robes, then struts proudly down to the Common's Room. We all get up to run after him.

The House is in disaray. Everyone looks as if the Apocolypse has just been announced. Professor McGonagall is in the middle of it all, talking to James. My lover is running his hands through his hair as a nervous reaction. Someone should inform him that that little habit could lead to male patter baldness in his future. I get ahead of our group of three and start pushing my way through the crowd of Gryffindors.

"What's the word, Prongs?" He looks at me as if he had been sentenced to Azkaban and immediate death.

"Joshamee White is in the Hospital Wing wiht a broken arm..."

"So? Madame Pompfrey can heal bones in a second."

"That's just the thing," James says. "He broke it Muggle-brawling with a Slytherin. Professor McGonagall was forced to suspend him from the game. Now we need a beater on short notice!"

"Black," McGonagall calls from across the room. "You will be replacing White in the game today. Do your House proud."

"Yes, ma'am." I can feel the color draining from my face. Me. Out of everyone else in the House, she had to pick me.

"Don't worry," James says. "You have all the training to be a Beater. You fly wonderfully. I don't know why you haven't tried out for the team. You would be on it in a heartbeat." Oh, if he only knew... Oh well, it won't hurt to tell them.

"I'm afraid of Bludgers..."

"Afraid... of Bludgers?" James souds as if he is going to laugh. It really isn't that funny. It isn't funny at all.

"It's not funny, James! I was hit in the head at a young age, and I've been afraid of them ever since."

"Well, great. Just great. Now we'll have to get someone else..."

"Sirius," Remus says, "perhaps... perhaps if you imagined them as something else? Something you hate? Can you think of anything at all?" My reply is instant. That was an easy question.

"Snape!"

"Um, yes. Okay. Just imagine Snape whenever you see the Bludgers, okay?"

"Good plan, Moony. Okay. I'll do it."

A cheer goes up through the House. They were all listening to our conversation. I am never going to live this Bludger-fearing business down... I just know it...

L A T E R O N A T T H E G A M E...

Changed, ready, and nervous, I am standing with the rest of the team. I have to remember to think about Severus whenever I see a bludger. Hopefully, I won't embarrass myself anymore than I have already today.

Madame Hooch blows her whistle and both teams take to the air. I glance at James. He has the easiest job on the team. He only really has one thing to focus on. The whole team looks out for him. Now it's my job to keep him safe from the bludgers also.

The game went on pretty well until the main Beater took a Bludger to the head. It's solely up to me now. I am doing pretty well on my own. Just wish that I had some help.

I take a swring at a Bludger, but my club doesn't connect with the ball. It connects with another club. I look up. Hope...

"Watch yourself," she says and flies off. Oh, it's war now.

For about twenty minutes, the two of us fly around, trying to knock one another in the head with the Beater bats. At first, it is unsuccessful.

"BLACK! MOON!" Madame Hooch is yelling at us from the ground. "STOP THIS NONSENSE AND GET YOURSELVES BACK INTO THE GAME! STOP OR I'LL CALL THE GAME OFF! I MEAN IT!"

James darts into my line of vision. He's seen the Snitch! Turning my head was my biggest mistake. I doubt she meant to, but Hope swung her club with all her might at my head. I move my head and suddenly, my world starts to fade. I feel my grip loosen on my broom. I don't even feel myself hit the ground...


	15. Chapter 15

Wow... Lemme just say that I am in awe. I love you guys so much. Right now, I have 104 reviews. I almost cried when I read that. I really do love you guys. When this story first started, I had minimul support. It got to the point where I was ready to just give it up and take the story down. But my faithful reviews who have been with me from the beginning stuck by me, and I gained a few more followers. You guys have been so wonderful to me. Now, on to the sad news. This story will end in three chapters. I'm sorry, but all good things must come to an end, and the end is pretty nice, if I do say so myself. Okay, on to this chapter.  
  
**_Disclaimer:_** I own no one and nothing from the Harry Potter books. They all belong to J. K. Rowling. This story is not for profit, only reviews and an ego boost.  
  
**_Summary:_** On one hand, we have Remus: the quiet kind, a good boy. Mostly doing what's right. Sure, he's gay. No one knows about it. But now he's in love. On the other hand, Sirius: the troublemaker, gay, in love, much like Remus. The odds keep them apart, but can Fate bring them together?  
  
**_Chapter 15  
_**  
**_Remus's POV_**  
  
_**THE QUIDDITCH GAME...**_

Peter and I take our seats in the Gryffindor box, anxiously awaiting the start of the game. The team marches out onto the field. The game is quick to start.

Everything is fine so far. I'm on the edge of my seat with worry for Sirius. Everything is going to be fine. Everything is going to be fine. Everything is going to be fine. Everything is going to be fine... I hope...

Dear God, I spoke too soon! The main Gryffindor Beater just took a Bludger to the head. He is out of the game, leaving it all up to Sirius. He can do it, though. I know he can.

Hope is an excellent Beater. She flies close to the box in pursuit of a Bludger on it's way to attack one of her teammates and waves at me. Everyone who sees starts making kissy noises. Sometimes I wonder if it's normal for them to be this immature, or if they are all just over-developed fetuses.

Trouble starts when Sirius and Hope go for the same Bludger. They swing at the same time, oblivious to one another. The bats connect. They look at each othre. Through Peter's borrowed omnioculars, I see the look of unbridled bitter anger that passes between them. Hope's lips move in the words "watch yourself" before she flies off. Sirius tears after her. God, it's war now!

A mid-air battle ensues. They take swings at one another, each trying to dislodge the other from their broom. Madame Hooch, red in the face, is yelling at them to stop. But they are just ignoring her, going about their grudge match.

James catches sight of the Snitch. He takes off in pursuit of it as fast as his broom can fly. And here is the tragic mistake. Sirius turns his head to look at James. Hope swings her bat at the Bludger hovering beside Sirius's head. As fate would have it, the bat totally misses the targeted Bludger and whacks Sirius in the side of the head. Scarlet blood starts leaking from his cheek. Screams go up through the stands. My heart is in my throat. His hands release his broom, waving around in the thin air for something to grab. Hope's robes become entangled in Sirius's fingers and as he plummets to the ground, she's drug along with him, screaming the whole while. I watch, feeling as if I'm not even really here, as they hit the Earth. A sickening crack can be heard, followed closely by a scream of pure pain. We all run down to the field.

Sirius got off lucky. He's been unconscious since the bat hit him. Hope, though, wasn't. She us laying under Sirius, her leg contorted at a strange angle. She had tried to catch herself in pure instinct. The bone in her leg is broken in two. It has pierced the skin and everyone has a perfect view of the white bone admist the blood and skin. By now, she's passed out. I vaguely remember Hope saying something to me about fainting at the sight of blood. Even I'm feeling dizzy right now...

They are both placed on stretchers then carted towards the Hospital Wing. It's only when they are back at the castle when James finally lands. He's caught the golden Snitch. The whole incident has gone unnoticed by him.

"What's happened," he asks.

"Crash," Peter says. "Bloody crash." He is white and shaking.

"Oh, God, Sirius!" Realization just hit him. James has always been a bit on the slow side, bless his heart.

After Madame Hooch declares Gryffindor the winner, James rushes up to the Hospital Wing, Peter and I in tow. He runs straight to Sirius's side, Peter right behind him. Sirius is still unconscious. He won't miss me if I go to see Hope first. Besides, I don't think I can stand to listen to James talking to Sirius in those honeyed tones. My heart can't take anymore torture.

Hope's bed is two down from Sirius's. She has already had her leg repaired flawlessly and is now drinking a potion for the after-nauseua. She smiles as I sit in the chair by her bed.

"Nice game," I say. She shrugs.

"We still lost."

"But you put up a good fight."

"Yeah," she says. "Remi, I'm sorry... I don't know what I was thinking. It's just, I saw him and I thought about everything he's put you through, and... I never meant to club him."

"I know."

Silence passes between us. Hope is reflecting on the game in her mind, studying every aspect, deciding where she made her mistakes, planning how she can improve for the next match. My mind wanders back to Sirius. God, I hope he's going to be okay. Even now, I still love him. Will I be cursed to this unrequitted love for the rest of my life?

James slips by me, shaking Hope's hand with a half-hearted comment of "good game". Both she and I know he thinks she hit Sirius puposely. They have never gotten along, Hope and James and Sirius. She was a threat to their status as top troublemakers here in Hogwarts. He leaves quietly with Peter tagging along behind. I look over at Sirius. He's still asleep, now smiling slightly, probably dreaming of James again. The stress catches up to me, and once more I'm crying on Hope's shoulder.

"Ssh, Remus," she soothes. "Just let it all out. It will be all right."

"No, it won't! It won't, Hope! I love him! And it's so much that it hurts! Does he notice? No! Not at all! This isn't puppy love! It's the real thing! I will love Sirius Black for all of my life!"

After that little outburst, I can't speak for the sobs that are shaking my body. Hope continues to hold me close, trying to comfort me. Something wet touches the top of my head and I look up at her. She is crying too.

"Oh, Remus," she sobs. "I wish I could do something for you."

I can tell she means it. Hope has those eyes that let you know just what she is feeling. Her heart is breaking in two for me. It is showing in those eyes. This sets me off into a fresh round of tears.

For two hours, Hope and I sit there and hold one another, offering each other comfort. Madame Pompfrey has left us alone with only a sleeping Sirius for company. She is quick to return when Hope and I are done crying our eyes out. She gave us both a calming potion. A student from Ravenclaw comes to escort Hope back to her dorm. I sit a few more minutes, slowly sipping the potion, staring at Sirius as he sleeps. Maybe he will never know how I feel... Perhaps I will just have to accept that and live with it...

"No mater what," I whisper as I am standing by the door, "I really will love you forever, Sirius."

With that off my chest, I went back to the Gryffindor dorm rooms.


	16. Chapter 16

_Another day, another chapter. And again, closer to the end... -sighs- Okay, enough babble. This is where it starts to get good._   
  
**_Disclaimer:_** _I own no one and nothing from the Harry Potter books. They all belong to J. K. Rowling. This story is not for profit, only reviews and an ego boost.  
_  
**_Summary:_** _On one hand, we have Remus: the quiet kind, a good boy. Mostly doing what's right. Sure, he's gay. No one knows about it. But now he's in love. On the other hand, Sirius: the troublemaker, gay, in love, much like Remus. The odds keep them apart, but can Fate bring them together?  
_  
**_Chapter 16  
_**  
**_Sirius's POV_**

Darkness. Everything is shrouded in darkness. I know I'm unconscious. I can feel a soft bed under my back. I can even hear Madame Pompfrey speaking to me in comforting tones. I just can't bring myself to respond. Nothing seems to be working on my body. I'm scared. I've never been so afraid in my entire life. Even when I saw those Bludgers flying around.  
  
Madame Pompfrey slips a potion between my lips, forcing me to swallow. It burns all of the way down.  
  
James's voice is soon by my side. I can feel him hold my hand under the blankets. Peter must be near. James is very much against public displays of affection.  
  
"Hey," he whispers. "Nice game you played. You're a naturalborn Beater. Now if only you can get over your fear of Bludgers." He laughs weakly.  
  
"Exactly," Peter said. "But you did wonderful! Fantastic! Great!"  
  
Peter is such a suck up. Sometimes I just want to punch him in his bloody face. Why James ever keeps him around, I will never know.  
  
"Remus is here, too. He's visiting that... floozy..." I instantly know that he is talking about Hope Moon. "I don't know why he talks to her. She's such an arrogant prat. Then again, she is friends with Lily..." He said that last part thoughtfully.  
  
There was that name again. For almost a week, he hasn't spoken that name. I'm barely listening as he keeps talking. Has he been thinking of her this whole time? Did I really not sway his feelings? Is it still Lily who holds his heart while I'm in his bed? Is it her he imagines touching when it's me he is caressing? As if sensing my fears, he squeezes my hand.  
  
"I hope you get better soon, Sirius," he whispers against my ear. "I'll have a nice... surprise waiting for you, if you know what I mean."  
  
Giving me a secretive peck on the cheek, he rises as a soft voice calls his name. Remus must have something to say to him. I feel him and Peter get up and leave. Leaving me to stew in my doubts.  
  
There were times during our moments abed when James's eyes would take on a far away look. I had dismissed it then, but now the doubt tugged at my mind. Was he seeing aburn hair, green eyes as bright as fine emeralds, creamy skin, and a female body? Is that what he smiles about when he dreams in my arms?  
  
My mind wanders in a whole different direction. Remus... soft brown hair, gentle eyes, the smooth, tanned skin... Those shy looks from under lowered lashes. My heart flutters. Even his name lately is enough to cause this feeling in me. It might just be my imagination, but I think I can feel myself smiling.  
  
Sobs are suddenly the main occupation of the room's noise. I can tell who it is. The sobs are so heartwrenching even I feel horrid, as if it is something I've done to upset that person.  
  
"Ssh, Remus," a female voice says. It's Hope talking. "Just let it all out. It will be all right.  
  
"No, it won't! It won't, Hope! I love him! And it's so much that it hurts! Does he notice? No! Not at all! This isn't puppy love! It's the real thing! I will love Sirius Black for all my life!"  
  
The room has gone silent with the exception of Remus's sobs. Did he really say what I think he did? I listen as he leaves the Hospital Wing, whispering something I can't hear. Damn his soft voice.  
  
"Hope you heard that," Hope whispers. "Now don't say I never did you any favors, Black."  
  
She planned it? God, she's a wiley one! I would have never thought of that! With that said, I hear her leave. I finally open my eyes for the first time since the accident.  
  
"Finally awake, are we," Madame Prompfrey tuts, standing over me. "Well, drink this and be on your way to your room."  
  
She hands me a small cup filled with a liquid that is a strange color of which I don't know the name. I down it, hoping it tastes sweet. Sadly, I am disappointed. The bitter goo gags me as it refuses to go down. I finally somehow manage to choke it down to my stomach.  
  
With careful slowness, I head back up to the Gryffindor Common Room, thinking of the soft bed that awaits me. Just before I reach the portrait hole, a sound in a side corridor catches my ear. Always nosy, I look towards the corridor. There, I am witness to a heartbreaking sight.  
  
Lily and James are in the corridor, groping at each other like a couple of dogs in heat. I'm too late to stop them from doing anything short of spending themselves. Soft, gagging noises are coming from my wide open mouth. James looks up at me, trying to form words.  
  
"You whore..."  
  
I storm up to the boys' dorms, James following with some diffilculty as he tries to pull his pants up.  
  
"Sirius! Sirius, come back! Damnit, listen to me!"  
  
Whirling around, I pin him with my most venomous glare. My heart feels like someone is squeezing it, waiting for it to pop and end my life.  
  
"Siri, I'm sorry... I just... Lily and I love one another..."  
  
"She hated you a week ago!"  
  
"I know," he says, rubbing the back of his head. "Then one day, we got caught in a rainstorm, and I brought her up to the dorm, and... well..."  
  
"That's the day you ditched our detention! You were screwing her? I can't believe you! You told me you hit your head during Quidditch practice!"  
  
"Sirius..."  
  
"No! Just leave me the fuck **_alone_**!"  
  
I run upstairs and flop down on my bed. Tears start forming in my eyes, but I won't cry. No, not over... that. But I can't help it. The tears come anyway. Good thing I am alone in here. James is probably off snogging Lily again, Peter has detention, and Remus...  
  
"Sirius?"


	17. Chapter 17

_Sorry this chapter is going to be short. But the next one is the last and I had absolutely no ideas for this one. I apologize. Oh, by the way, does anyone remember reading a fic that was on her a while back about Harry being a normal high school boy and he fell for Draco. It was a slash fic, one of my favorites, and I would like to know the author. There was another, one where Draco was half Veela and Harry was his mate, and I would like to know the author of that one, also. If anyone knows or knows of anyone who might, please email me at_ CanYouHearMyHeartyahoo.com. _Thank you in advance for helping me. This has been driving me mad for weeks.   
_  
**_Disclaimer:_** _I own no one and nothing from the Harry Potter books. They all belong to J. K. Rowling. This story is not for profit, only reviews and an ego boost._  
  
**_Summary:_** _On one hand, we have Remus: the quiet kind, a good boy. Mostly doing what's right. Sure, he's gay. No one knows about it. But now he's in love. On the other hand, Sirius: the troublemaker, gay, in love, much like Remus. The odds keep them apart, but can Fate bring them together?_  
  
**Chapter 17**  
  
**_Remus's POV_**  
  
I walk slowly back to the dorms. James is just heading out of the portrait hole as I try to walk through.  
  
"Oh, sory, Moony," he says in a cheerful voice. How he can be cheerful while Sirius is unconscious, I will never know.  
  
"Going somewhere, Prongs?"  
  
"Just... nowhere."  
  
With a smile, he walks off. He's up to something... I just know it... But whatever it is, it doesn't seem like he is going to tell me. Oh well, I only just used to be one of his best friends.  
  
With a sigh, I fall back on my bed. I'm glad that I finally told Sirius, even though he was unconscious. It really took a load off my mind.  
  
Somehow, I fall asleeep. Lord knows the bawling wore me out. I still can't believe I cried like that...  
  
When I awae again, I desperately need a change of clothes. Dreams of Sirius on a bearskin rug, while overly used by cheesey pornos and romance stories, has caused me to... soil myself. I quickly changed into some of Sirius's clothes, his trunk being the closest one to me. As fast as I can, I run down to the laundary chute and drop my clothes off.  
  
On the way back up, I hear noises. Snogging noises! The two guilty ones are tucked in an aclove, snogging each other senseless. A flash of auburn hair catches my eye. Then black. Could it be... no... James would never... Well, Lily would never be there with James, of all people! She can't stand im! I just dismiss the thought and continue on my way.  
  
Just as I lay down, Sirius comes slamming upstairs. Before I can say anything to him, he lets out one of his "leave me alone" ishgs and flops down on his bed. Tears well up in his eyes. His face is set in determination that he won't cry. Sirius is so proud... Then they get to be too much for him and just fall. I can feel my heart breaking for him. So, it was Lily and James in that intimate place. I knew James would hurt him... Though I can understand. James is in love with Lily... like I am with Sirius...  
  
"Sirius?" 


	18. Kissing You

_Well boys and girls, here we are. The final chapter. We've come a long way, huh? I hope this has been everything that you guys have expected from me. Thanks to everyone for sticking with me through this. Luvs yas all! -wipes away tear- This is for you guys._  
  
**_Disclaimer:_** _I own no one and nothing from the Harry Potter books. They all belong to J. K. Rowling. This story is not for profit, only reviews and an ego boost. I also don't own the song "Kissing You". As far as I know, it belongs to Des'ree. It was the love theme for the movie Romeo & Juliet. The newer version.  
_  
**_Summary:_** _On one hand, we have Remus: the quiet kind, a good boy. Mostly doing what's right. Sure, he's gay. No one knows about it. But now he's in love. On the other hand, Sirius: the troublemaker, gay, in love, much like Remus. The odds keep them apart, but can Fate bring them together?  
_  
**Chapter 18**  
  
Sirius raised his teary eyes to look at Remus. A look of understanding passed between the two. No words were necessary. But this was something that Sirius needed to say.  
  
"I was sleeping with James," he said, his voice shaking. "I guess I wasn't enough for him. He was seeing Lily behind my back... I saw him with her just before I came up here..."  
  
"I know," Remus whispered.  
  
Getting up, he crossed the space between them and sat on Sirius's bed. He looked up at the dark-haired young man. Remus could tell Sirius was about to cry. He wrapped his arms around the strong waist. As he rest his head on Sirius's chest, he could hear the other's heartbeat.  
  
"Remus..."  
  
"Just hold me, Sirius."  
  
Two strong arms held him close to Sirius. He could feel Sirius shaking with the sobs that he could barely hear.  
  
__

_Pride can stand _

_A thousand trials _

_The strong will never fall _

_But watching stars without you _

_My soul cried  
_

Even tough Sirius would never admit it, James had hurt him deeply. He had given himself to James. Not just his body. A small part of his heart had been put in their relationship. James had stomped it flat, put it in a blender, and hit puree.  
  
Maybe he should have been more upset than he was. Though he felt like crying, he was very aware of Remus tucked against his body. Was it the hormones or was he really lusting after Remus? Or was it something else...? 'Only one way to find out,' Sirius told himself in his mind.  
  
__

_Heaving heart is full of pain _

_Oh, oh, the aching _

_'Cause I'm kissing you, oh I'm kissing you, oh_

It seemed as if Sirius was moving in slow motion. He tilted Remus's head up by his chin. Remus looked up at him, heart pounding in anticipation. How many times had he dreamed of this exact moment? Their lips met and neither of them had ever felt something so right in their whole lives.  
  
Sirius slowly unbuttoned Remus's shirt. It was pushed off his shoulders, Sirius's hands gently running over the smooth skin. His lips replaced his hands soon. A dreamy sigh slipped through Remus's parted lips. Sirius chuckled as he realized that those were his clothes.  
  
Being the dominate one, Sirius pushed Remus down on the bed. With careful deliberation, Sirius made his way up Remus's chest, placing small, worshipping kisses as he went. He delighted in the soft moans of pleasure coming from deep in Remus's throat.  
  
Remuse's head was spinning. Could his dreams really be coming true? He closed his eyes tight, afraid to open them and realize this was just another fantasy. He gasped as Sirius latched onto the pulse spot on the side of his neck and began sucking in a gentle rhythm. Sirius's hands found Remus's pants' button and he pulled back to look up at Remus, silently asking for permission.  
  
"Take me, Sirius," Remus said in a breathy whisper.  
  
__

_Touch me deep, pure, and true _

_Gift to me forever _

_'Cause I'm kissing you, oh I'm kissing you, oh  
_

Sirius looked down at the dozing young man in his arms. He took in the soft hair; the pink-tinted cheeks; the soft, tan skin; the perfect, lithe body. The beauty of this one individual touched Sirius's heart. And to think, Remus loved him, of all people... He kissed Remus on the forehead.  
  
The young werewolf was having doubts as he drifted in and out of wakefulness. That had been the greatest experience of his life. Had Sirius done that as a way to get back at James? Or because he wanted to? He felt Sirius kiss his forehead and he instantly knew the answer. He opened his eyes, looking up at Sirius.  
  
"Sirius, I--"  
  
"Hold on, Remus. I want to say something. I once thought I loved James. Tonight, though, I realized that the only way I loved him is as a fried. My hormones clouded my mind. He loves Lily, and she seems to love him in return, and they should be together. I heard what you said to Hope in the Hospital Wing today. Remus, I've been so blind. I'm sorry. Now I truly realize that I love you..."  
  
"Oh, Sirius! I love you, too!"  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Really!"  
  
Sirius pulled Remus into a passionate kiss. Their love seemed to radiate through the room.  
  
__

_Where are you now? _

_Where are you now? _

_'Cause I'm kissing you I'm kissing you, oh_

"Come on," Remus said, getting up and offering a hand to Sirius. "Let's go tell everyone the good news."  
  
"You wanna tell people about us?"  
  
"Well," Remus poundered. "Maybed after you show me once more that you lvoe me."  
  
And with a wolfish smile, he tackled Sirius to the bed.  
  
_Fin..._


End file.
